There was a time when I would work through the night and love the rush and the angst and the fuzzy sense of achievement when I'd press that send button. I loved meshing my friends into my colleagues and my life into my office. I felt a sense of misplaced awe when I heard people talk about always being busy. I felt a sense of false pride in saying that I had bitten off more than I could chew. I would then over compensate for it by partying like my right to party had been brutally snatched away and recently been returned.
Then I became unemployed. And I fell in love. With someone who used to work like that too.
I lived a life of owning my time, of being busy with the things that mattered to me and the people around me, my friends were just that, I didn't have my eyes fixated on my watch or my heart fixated on every new email that came into my inbox... my time was my own. I learnt French and I subtitled movies and I drove my car and I visited my parents and I celebrated every small moment with the people I love and I never had to wonder if I could make it to your wedding six months from now.
But a little part of me craved that life. That life that has a one way window... you can't even tell what the weather is like outside. When you're in, you're in. Everyone is like you. Everyone is racing. There's time only for a courtesy nod. You're lucky if you're a smoker because that's the only time you'll ever breathe real air.
And now I'm back in it. And I can't stop wondering what the answer is. I need money. I need time. If this is the only way to make money, I'm never going to have the time. If I'm not going to make money then I'm not going to enjoy my time. The more money I have, the better I can enjoy my time, which I don't have. If I have medium money, I can mediumly enjoy my adequate time. If I don't.... what, wait!!!.... that's it. Medium money. I'm fine with mediumly enjoying my adequate time!!!
How can I make medium money? I think the answer lies in defining what medium money and adequate time means to me.
