“I’m sorry ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you for an ID”
“But I’m asking you for a condom!! Not beer! Why do you need an ID?”
“That’s the procedure madam. Do you have an ID or not?”
“Absolutely ridiculous!! Fine….what sort of ID do you want?”
“Just show me your license.”
“Ok! You want age proof…drivers license should do…here you go”
“Your marriage license, miss. I don’t care how old you are! If you’re married you can have a condom!!!”
Ooooookay then!
Forgive me for my preposterous beginning. But this is what happened to me in the hospital while I was getting a scan done for kidney stones… No, they didn’t ask me for an ID but here’s what happened:
I had been told to have a full bladder for 2 hours and show up for the scan scheduled at 10 a.m. one fine Sunday. I followed all the instructions – I drank 2 liters of water, didn’t go to the loo for 2 hours, hadn’t eaten anything and had turned up at 9 45! But I was told to wait… I finally got my turn at 10 45 when I was just about ready to burst! Not so much in a good mood when I went in, I didn’t make small talk with the two middle age lady doctors there. They started their checks gently pressing and probing every inch of my abdomen. When they reached my pelvis was when I sprang up straight and said “Doc, I need to go to the loo else you’ll have to get a “Caution – Wet floor’ sign very soon!” … They got the hint and I relieved myself! Ah….smiling I returned for the rest of my scan…
Something beeped on the monitor… Frowns appeared on the ladies faces… Hushed whispers passed between them… “Ummm…everything ok doc?”, I ask hesitantly… “Yes yes, nothing to worry about….we can see something unusual here… can you tell me when your last period was?”…That’s easy, I thought, “Last month, I’m due sometime now.”…. More frowns… “Have they been regular?”… “Yep…nothing unusual!”… They exchange baffled looks….Then with sudden enlightenment one lady turns to me and asks, “When was you last sexual intercourse?”… ha ha, I think, this should be fun…I was just about to jokingly say ‘this morning in the elevator on my way here’, when the other lady peering into my records proclaims with finality, “Oh, she’s unmarried!”
I’m sorry, what’s that supposed to mean?? These educated, intelligent woman still have such a backward outlook. It was quite shocking and somehow I feel they really think the guy selling condoms will ask you that question!
[PS: Now we know who’s NEVER bought a condom in her life!]
“But I’m asking you for a condom!! Not beer! Why do you need an ID?”
“That’s the procedure madam. Do you have an ID or not?”
“Absolutely ridiculous!! Fine….what sort of ID do you want?”
“Just show me your license.”
“Ok! You want age proof…drivers license should do…here you go”
“Your marriage license, miss. I don’t care how old you are! If you’re married you can have a condom!!!”
Ooooookay then!
Forgive me for my preposterous beginning. But this is what happened to me in the hospital while I was getting a scan done for kidney stones… No, they didn’t ask me for an ID but here’s what happened:
I had been told to have a full bladder for 2 hours and show up for the scan scheduled at 10 a.m. one fine Sunday. I followed all the instructions – I drank 2 liters of water, didn’t go to the loo for 2 hours, hadn’t eaten anything and had turned up at 9 45! But I was told to wait… I finally got my turn at 10 45 when I was just about ready to burst! Not so much in a good mood when I went in, I didn’t make small talk with the two middle age lady doctors there. They started their checks gently pressing and probing every inch of my abdomen. When they reached my pelvis was when I sprang up straight and said “Doc, I need to go to the loo else you’ll have to get a “Caution – Wet floor’ sign very soon!” … They got the hint and I relieved myself! Ah….smiling I returned for the rest of my scan…
Something beeped on the monitor… Frowns appeared on the ladies faces… Hushed whispers passed between them… “Ummm…everything ok doc?”, I ask hesitantly… “Yes yes, nothing to worry about….we can see something unusual here… can you tell me when your last period was?”…That’s easy, I thought, “Last month, I’m due sometime now.”…. More frowns… “Have they been regular?”… “Yep…nothing unusual!”… They exchange baffled looks….Then with sudden enlightenment one lady turns to me and asks, “When was you last sexual intercourse?”… ha ha, I think, this should be fun…I was just about to jokingly say ‘this morning in the elevator on my way here’, when the other lady peering into my records proclaims with finality, “Oh, she’s unmarried!”
I’m sorry, what’s that supposed to mean?? These educated, intelligent woman still have such a backward outlook. It was quite shocking and somehow I feel they really think the guy selling condoms will ask you that question!
[PS: Now we know who’s NEVER bought a condom in her life!]
3 comments:
Pickle, the explanation to ur shock lies in ur blog itself (I feel like a mystery novel writer!). The ladies were middle-aged!
I could go on about how they didn't have the 'exposure' we do today, and even if they did, it was all taboo and very hush-hush! But I'm gonna say just this (drum-roll):
Being educated in no way makes you intelligent and being intelligent may not necessarily make you un-orthodox!
Hell, if that were true we wouldn't have guys sitting in luxury sedans throwing wrappers on the road!!
Outrageously funny;)
nice one......btw had to check dictionary.com for meaning of halcyon...u mite condsider adding a link to the site..make it easier for other ppl
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